Post by Brett Clouser on May 14, 2011 17:45:10 GMT -5
Been sick.... I've slept through most of the past 44 hours....dont think i'll get a story done at this point... bleh.
So how's this for a tale of intregue and excitement? A confessional!
Hunter went last week. I really hated it. I like Hunter. I understand his game and I know how to work with him. He gets a bad rap but he's rather honorable for a "Manipulator." We play similiarly actually, and he's so SAD. He was the Woobie of this game, constantly taking the brunt of whatever the game had to throw at people. He was the universe's chew toy.
I did always want to work with him, it was just that I already had my alliance and in spite of whatever I've said and done before as an ally I've never been much of a flipper. Even when I play sides I make sure I'm voting with one side exclusively unless something needs to happen and I cant manage it any other way. I need a lot of justification to turn on anyone, and I was worried about turning on Fengbao when I figured we were all pretty close-knit. I did want to do him a favor though, as well as keep him around as a safety net in case things went wrong.
But Hunter left this last round, in spite of my endless list of reasons I wanted to keep him around. I argued for a while how much I would rather aim for Erinn or Alina or Rob... none of it worked.
None of it mattered.
I've been trying hard not to genuinely live up to the "control freak" title. I've really been trying hard to back off, to let people talk, because I dont want to be like that to my allies. In spite of what I might say or do sometimes, I really do want the people I like to like me. And as much as I hate everyone I actually like almost everyone at least some of the time. And I dont want to go bossing people around.
But no matter what I said it was like the target was already made up and it was all about selling it to me or at least convincing me to fucking go with it.
I hated it.
It felt very WRONG. Like I wasnt a part of the decision making process, like I was just an extra vote that needed convincing. I felt off for the rest of the night, and paranoid, and I took that paranoia and I took it the wrong way entirely. I didnt feel safe so I took that to mean I was worried about being targetted by the other side, so I handed off all my stuff to Kim just in case.
I really really trusted Kim.
So, I did that, because I was worried and going out with my items seemed worse than going and leaving them behind.
The vote went almost as planned. I had hoped tipping off Hunter would cause Colleen to go because I just didnt trust my alliance THAT much ever since Jenna left. But it didnt work out right and Hunter left. I was sad.
After thinking over the night though I just felt strongly uncomfortable, like the game had just gotten about 50x harder. I wasnt sure what it was, but I didnt feel safe...
I shared my worries with Lex because, stupid or not to trust him I do. He's my f2, always has been and after everything I dont see me ever turning on him. He might turn on me, but I think we both agree that that would be boring. Lets face it, no one is rooting for either of us, so why not make the end together and trust each other entirely?
I finally realized I was worried because some part of me realized I was at the bottom of Fengbao. Colleen's been distant, Austin is... Austin, and Russell isnt around all that much... a perfect storm of alienation. I thought I could trust Kim, but some part of me was worried about it.
So Lex and I decided to test Kim and see what he would do if Lex proposed killing me to her.
....sigh
That'll sure teach me to start trusting people after I said I wasnt going to! I think I've been screwed over at least once somehow by every single person I've ever trusted.... thats pretty pathedic.
Anyway!
Fuck heroics, fuck loyalty, fuck feng.
Thus far Kim has been just as
as usual. No sign that shes going to tell me about Lex or anything.
I'm gonna kill my prom date! ;D
So how's this for a tale of intregue and excitement? A confessional!
Hunter went last week. I really hated it. I like Hunter. I understand his game and I know how to work with him. He gets a bad rap but he's rather honorable for a "Manipulator." We play similiarly actually, and he's so SAD. He was the Woobie of this game, constantly taking the brunt of whatever the game had to throw at people. He was the universe's chew toy.
I did always want to work with him, it was just that I already had my alliance and in spite of whatever I've said and done before as an ally I've never been much of a flipper. Even when I play sides I make sure I'm voting with one side exclusively unless something needs to happen and I cant manage it any other way. I need a lot of justification to turn on anyone, and I was worried about turning on Fengbao when I figured we were all pretty close-knit. I did want to do him a favor though, as well as keep him around as a safety net in case things went wrong.
But Hunter left this last round, in spite of my endless list of reasons I wanted to keep him around. I argued for a while how much I would rather aim for Erinn or Alina or Rob... none of it worked.
None of it mattered.
I've been trying hard not to genuinely live up to the "control freak" title. I've really been trying hard to back off, to let people talk, because I dont want to be like that to my allies. In spite of what I might say or do sometimes, I really do want the people I like to like me. And as much as I hate everyone I actually like almost everyone at least some of the time. And I dont want to go bossing people around.
But no matter what I said it was like the target was already made up and it was all about selling it to me or at least convincing me to fucking go with it.
I hated it.
It felt very WRONG. Like I wasnt a part of the decision making process, like I was just an extra vote that needed convincing. I felt off for the rest of the night, and paranoid, and I took that paranoia and I took it the wrong way entirely. I didnt feel safe so I took that to mean I was worried about being targetted by the other side, so I handed off all my stuff to Kim just in case.
I really really trusted Kim.
So, I did that, because I was worried and going out with my items seemed worse than going and leaving them behind.
The vote went almost as planned. I had hoped tipping off Hunter would cause Colleen to go because I just didnt trust my alliance THAT much ever since Jenna left. But it didnt work out right and Hunter left. I was sad.
After thinking over the night though I just felt strongly uncomfortable, like the game had just gotten about 50x harder. I wasnt sure what it was, but I didnt feel safe...
I shared my worries with Lex because, stupid or not to trust him I do. He's my f2, always has been and after everything I dont see me ever turning on him. He might turn on me, but I think we both agree that that would be boring. Lets face it, no one is rooting for either of us, so why not make the end together and trust each other entirely?
I finally realized I was worried because some part of me realized I was at the bottom of Fengbao. Colleen's been distant, Austin is... Austin, and Russell isnt around all that much... a perfect storm of alienation. I thought I could trust Kim, but some part of me was worried about it.
So Lex and I decided to test Kim and see what he would do if Lex proposed killing me to her.
g1nger23 1:17 pm
kimberly
Kim 1:24 pm
yes?
g1nger23 1:24 pm
i have a proposition!
how would you feel
about killing brett at this double TC
Kim 1:25 pm
=-O
aren't you guys like bff?
g1nger23 1:25 pm
well
outside of this game we're friends
but in every game we play we end up turning on each other haha
we were tight in malaysia and then i killed him at F10
got everyone to blindside him with me
g1nger23 1:26 pm
we're not nearly as close as people think in this series
and the fact that people think that makes me mad/nervous haha
so i wanna cut him loose
and he's got a LOT of connections
he's tight with everyone
Kim 1:26 pm
well
remember, this is a double boot
g1nger23 1:27 pm
yeah
Kim 1:27 pm
so if you want to vote brett, you're going to have to get erinn/rob/alina to
g1nger23 1:27 pm
which is what the proposition is
haha yup
here's my idea
right now it's still kinda feng vs. the rebels
and obviously you dont wanna turn on brett or feng too early
because you dont want the rebels to have more
g1nger23 1:28 pm
so i say
you and i find a way
to get brett out, as well as one of the rebels
i'm thinking erinn
she's really close with russell
russell asked her to null his vote during the erinn/bob vote
so that he didnt vote for her
Kim 1:29 pm
seriously?
g1nger23 1:29 pm
yup
erinn told me
if russell's name comes up erinn diverts it to you/colleen/brett
i wanna split them up
and i assume people wanna split me and brett up
which makes me wanna cut brett loose
Kim 1:30 pm
i'm totally fine with voting erinn
honestly
Kim 1:30 pm
with this being a double TC
i figured a feng would go anyway
g1nger23 1:30 pm
yeah
someone from each side is going for sure
and i think it's best if it's brett from feng
Kim 1:30 pm
here's my thing
this is the first game i know you from and you're the bastard lmao. so how do i know you're not just trying to get me to vote brett and then you go tell brett?
because i have heard you guys are very close
g1nger23 1:31 pm
haha
i'm not that much of a bastard
wanna know how i got that name?
Kim 1:32 pm
i would assume its cause of rupert and brett (coach)
g1nger23 1:32 pm
haha
g1nger23 1:32 pm
yes
because i betrayed brett
trust me if anyone goes against brett it's gonna be me haha
i've never lied about us being friends
but we get bored when we play too many games together so we try to kill each other
Kim 1:33 pm
he told me he wants you to go far with us
g1nger23 1:33 pm
haha
that's what he said in malaysia
but he was with colleen
and would've cut me loose
him and colleen are real close
so i turned on them before they could turn on me
Kim 1:34 pm
maybe it would be best to split colleen and brett up too then
g1nger23 1:34 pm
obviously you're skeptical to trust me, but i'm kind of taking a risk by approaching you about this
because you could just as easily tell brett that i'm going for him
Kim 1:35 pm
i won't do that
and i do trust you, just wasn't expecting this
g1nger23 1:35 pm
haha
Kim 1:35 pm
but yes i agree
g1nger23 1:35 pm
i like to mix things up sometimes i guess
Kim 1:35 pm
this is the best move
g1nger23 1:35 pm
he just has so many connections
Kim 1:35 pm
this isn't the first time this has come across my mind
g1nger23 1:36 pm
he'll use them all the way to the end
yeah
i bet
i've been thinking about the timing of this for awhile
g1nger23 1:36 pm
double TC might be the perfect time
Kim 1:36 pm
definitely
g1nger23 1:36 pm
take out a big feng member, and a big rebel
and it's anyones game after that really
Kim 1:36 pm
well
austin would definitely not mind brett going
g1nger23 1:37 pm
yeah
i've talked to him about it
Kim 1:37 pm
really?
g1nger23 1:37 pm
mhm
since before the merge
Kim 1:37 pm
honestly
i'm not so sure colleen would mind either
g1nger23 1:37 pm
=-O
really?
Kim 1:37 pm
we've talked about it
g1nger23 1:38 pm
i figured they'd stick together again in this one
like in malaysia
Kim 1:38 pm
to me, it seems like they aren't as close as they were in the beginning
being with them the whole game, i've noticed it
g1nger23 1:38 pm
actually
brett's talked about that a little bit
he says colleen doesnt talk to him as much as she did at the beginning
so that makes sense
Kim 1:39 pm
yeah i've definitely noticed it
g1nger23 1:39 pm
the best thing for us to do
is for you guys to pretend you're still with him obviously
and to target erinn with him
and for me to reassure brett and tell him the rebels arent voting for him
so he doesnt play his idol
Kim 1:40 pm
actually
if we want, we can get his idol
g1nger23 1:40 pm
=-O
Kim 1:40 pm
he'll give it to me if he knows i'm in trouble
if you tell him they are voting me
he'll give it to me to use
g1nger23 1:40 pm
we should definitely do that
then that's an idol for us
well
for you anyway
and brett has none
and leaves
Kim 1:40 pm
i'd definitely share it with you
g1nger23 1:41 pm
thanks
i dont think brett ever would haha
Kim 1:41 pm
haha well
i didn't tell you
but brett gave me his idol to hold onto last round incase he went
and i was about to move the vote to brett to get him out and keep the idol
but i couldn't
g1nger23 1:41 pm
oh wow
you shouldve talked to me haha
i would've been down for that
Kim 1:42 pm
well
he gave it to me literally 30 mins before the vote was due
i could have done it
me and colleen both had 6x
he would have had 12 votes
g1nger23 1:42 pm
yikes
g1nger23 1:42 pm
did you both use your 6x on hunter?
i forget
Kim 1:42 pm
i did
she used a triple
g1nger23 1:42 pm
ahh
thats what i thought
Kim 1:43 pm
yeah
it was close to being brett
but we couldn't
g1nger23 1:43 pm
what for?
because of me and brett being close?
Kim 1:43 pm
voting brett out?
g1nger23 1:43 pm
mhm
Kim 1:43 pm
no, because he's the biggest threat to win
g1nger23 1:43 pm
ahh
just curious lol
i'm gonna talk to rob and erinn about this
i dont even talk to alina but she'll be down
Kim 1:44 pm
i mean, you and brett are both on our side so it wasn't urgent to split you guys up haha
g1nger23 1:44 pm
haha
true
Kim 1:44 pm
i feel like erinn is going to push to vote me
g1nger23 1:44 pm
well
i'll let you know
maybe you can get brett's idol and play it?
if erinn is stuborn
we'll see
i'll talk to erinn
Kim 1:45 pm
the only thing that would suck
is if brett wins immunity
g1nger23 1:45 pm
yup
how would you feel about going for russell?
since he's with erinn
i know you're kind of close with him
but him and erinn are up to something i think
Kim 1:46 pm
did you follow manchuria?
Kim 1:48 pm
because i got my nickname due to russell lmao
g1nger23 1:49 pm
yeah lol
a tiny bit
Kim 1:49 pm
well all game, i tried to get russell out
g1nger23 1:49 pm
yeah
did that carry over to this one? haha
Kim 1:49 pm
well
we've been on the same tribe all game
so i kind of had to work with him
and plus, russell has an idol. he hasn't told me, but i know he does
g1nger23 1:50 pm
yeah
lol
i knew it
Kim 1:50 pm
he hasn't bought anything all game
Kim 1:51 pm
he bought a 2x nullifier in the beginning
that's it
g1nger23 1:52 pm
i kind of think
that brett might have the second idol
he hasnt told me
but i know he almost had enough points around the merge
he was ahead of me with points due to his streak
even after he bought his first idol
g1nger23 1:53 pm
maybe he gave it away to you so easily because he has another one?
Kim 1:53 pm
maybe. but he told me i was his number one in this game and he would do that if it meant saving me
g1nger23 1:53 pm
lol
well he was still being honest and still gave you his idol
but he had nothing to lose if he had another one in his pocket
trust me, brett will say anything haha
he's really playing this game
Kim 1:54 pm
yeah i know he is. he'll win if he's in the finals
....sigh
That'll sure teach me to start trusting people after I said I wasnt going to! I think I've been screwed over at least once somehow by every single person I've ever trusted.... thats pretty pathedic.
Anyway!
Fuck heroics, fuck loyalty, fuck feng.
Thus far Kim has been just as
as usual. No sign that shes going to tell me about Lex or anything.Kim (kimmyxxsurvqueen) is available 4:01 pm
Kim 1:01 pm
(4:01:03 PM): [Offline IM sent 2h and 59m ago] heyy
brettclous 4:01 pm
(4:01:52 PM): hey
Kim 4:02 pm
(4:02:23 PM): hey you
(4:02:39 PM): what's going on?
brettclous 4:03 pm
(4:03:03 PM): not much, havent felt so great past few days :-\
Kim 4:03 pm
(4:03:09 PM): :-\
(4:03:11 PM): what's wrong?
brettclous 4:03 pm
(4:03:44 PM): naseous, sleeping a lot, probably a mild case of the flu or something
Kim 4:03 pm
(4:03:51 PM): oh no!
(4:03:54 PM): :-(
brettclous 4:04 pm
(4:04:08 PM): i havent even started my story yet
Kim 4:04 pm
(4:04:15 PM): aw really?
brettclous 4:04 pm
(4:04:20 PM): so i'm probably screwed there
(4:04:54 PM): I have had at least 3 dreams about not doing it too... its like when i put off doing essays :-P
Kim 4:05 pm
(4:05:25 PM): haha yeah i hear you. as of last night i had 2 paragraphs done so i said i was going to spend today working on it
(4:05:39 PM): i now have 6 pages on microsoft word and 2.781 words so far
brettclous 4:05 pm
(4:05:56 PM): i was going to spend today working on it.... then i just woke up now
Kim 4:06 pm
(4:06:10 PM): did you ever come up with a topic?
brettclous 4:06 pm
(4:06:13 PM): nope
(4:06:29 PM): I have a few ideas but i dont like any of them
Kim 4:06 pm
(4:06:45 PM): i'm doing mine on a prom
(4:06:49 PM): me and you are dates for it
(4:06:50 PM): :-D
brettclous 4:06 pm
(4:06:57 PM): :-D
I'm gonna kill my prom date! ;D