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Post by Russell Hantz on Apr 7, 2011 14:58:19 GMT -5
Alright, well, here we be.
Let's recap Russell's Manchuria experience, just to give us a sense of context for the amazing cycle of strangeness that is going to be my All Stars performance.
I essentially decided to play Manchuria for shits and giggles, because I'd come up with the Angel Russell shtick over a year ago, and wanted to see if I could get away with turning Suvivor's biggest asshole into a nice guy.
Did I fool anybody into thinking I was a newb who didn't know what he was doing? Nope. I didn't fool anybody in the cast. They all caught onto me, and there were rumors flying everywhere about my challenge prowess and my strategic abilities. But you know who I did fool? The PWs. Each and every one of them, when you read the staff notes, made a point of saying that I was nowhere near the level of player that I had been in Japan, which was the entire damn point.
Don't get me wrong. I'm as awesome as I ever was. I deliberately scaled down my performance last time around, but don't mistake that to mean that I'm declining. Russell's here to kick ass, and the fact that all of these folks think they have nothing to fear from me means that I'm gonna have a pretty damn good shot at it.
How do I know this? Because I got a hell of a lot of love from the folks I talked to last night (and there were a lot of them.) They don't need to be afraid of me, because at the end of the day, I didn't really damn well do anything villainous in Manchuria. Danielle and Bob better watch their asses, because ain't nobody gonna believe that they're not together.
I also spent like three hours talking to Kim, specifically to convince her to get off my ass. I didn't even do shit to her, and she essentially was the Shambo to my Laura, randomly hating on me for forever without me knowing about it (or arguably having done anything to deserve it.)
I'm not sure how well I'm going to be able to do in this game, but I'll see what I can do to lay the smack down here. I'm Russell Hantz, baby!
Coming briefly back to reality, the fact of the matter is, I'm probably gonna get my ass kicked. But we'll see.
I currently have alliances with Erinn, Brendan, Kim, and Brett. I'm looking at working with Dan, and I've got friendships with Lex, Sierra, and Darrah that I'll probably leverage to my advantage. I'm also putting the moves on Jenna and Rob, and will probably wind up being a social butterfly for as long as it takes to get myself into a good position. I'm also gonna need to get around to apologizing to Danielle and smoothing things over, but she seems like a pretty immature and petty person, so I really doubt it will work. Guess I'll just have to vote her ass off asap...
We'll see how this goes.
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Post by Sandra Diaz-Twine on Apr 7, 2011 16:31:56 GMT -5
My only true Manchuria ally <3
What do you think you'll need to do to make things work with DD?
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Post by Amanda Kimmel on Apr 7, 2011 17:05:45 GMT -5
Welcome back, Russell!
Do you think someone might pick up on your evil plot?
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Post by Russell Hantz on Apr 7, 2011 18:08:44 GMT -5
Sandra - I'll go with a combination platter of an apology I don't actually believe, mixed with some random praise for her win. I figure pointing out that I never felt any real emotion about being kicked off will probably be good enough to make her briefly reconsider her obvious plan to target me first. (Of course, that will carry the caveat that she'll simply target me second or third.)
Amanda - Oh, probably. I mean, the cat's already out of the bag, so it's not like I can pretend I'm anything other than what I am. If people were threatened by the pathetic moron that was Angel Russell, they're sure as hell gonna be threatened by Russell Kickass Hantz.
But, whatever. I'm a Threat. Capital T. These bitches are gonna have to build a bridge and get over it.
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Post by Russell Hantz on Apr 8, 2011 16:10:05 GMT -5
Update for Today: Well, some jealous bitch keeps smiting my karma. I'm going to guess it's either Erinn or Danielle. Danielle doesn't seem active enough to be the one doing it, so I'm going to guess that Erinn somehow figured out I was the one repeatedly smiting her last season. I tried it again, but she's already sucking people off, I guess, because her karma magically heals itself within ten seconds.
So now I'm beating up Bob Dawg, because he blames Erinn and probably Austin for it. I don't know if the negative karma medivac twist will be in effect, but I hope so. Unless it's me.
Also, I'm probably not going to do the mocking chats thing that I did last season. But I was sitting in the hallway chatting with people, and Kim said the funniest thing I have ever read.
kimmyxxsurvqueen: seems like everyone is basing this game off of previous seasons
^No shit. Really. People in an All Stars game are basing this game off of previous seasons. Le gasp.
But I'm incredibly proud of myself for smiting Bob Dawg like five times and getting away with it. Take that, traitor!
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Post by Russell Hantz on Apr 10, 2011 1:40:36 GMT -5
Holy craaaap. Not only is my epic feud between Bob Dawg and Erinn working beautifully, but I'm also pitting Boston Rob against Danielle. I'm just gonna exalt Rob repeatedly in hopes of getting him a reward, so that he'll help me out later on down the line.
I also had a fun conversation with Brett. See, if there's anybody in this game that knows full well how much ass I'm capable of kicking, it's him. And I think he knows full well that he's up against UblazRob in prime condition. Damn. Anyway, check out this conversation.
UblazRob: Don't be afraid to go to the finals with me.
brettclous: loool
UblazRob: The day that anybody playing as Hantz wins a game
UblazRob: Is the day that the world explodes
UblazRob: Admittedly
brettclous: i'm sure it's happened at least once
UblazRob: I did see a dude win as CAROLINA once
(^It was me.)
UblazRob: Easily the most WTF rep win I've seen yet
brettclous: see? anything's possible
brettclous: question: how many times have you gone to finals and NOT won?
brettclous: because you seem to kick ASS at ftc
brettclous: I wouldnt be like, alligned with you from day one and get to f3 or f4 with you then go "I CANNOT WIN AGAINST HIM, HE MUST GO!" or anything
UblazRob: Uhhh
brettclous: actually we could be enemies, still go to like 3 or 4 and i'd probably decide i wanted to beat the unbeatable
UblazRob: Hahaha
UblazRob: Is that a challenge?
UblazRob: lol
brettclous: haha I'm not entirely sure yet
UblazRob: I'm Brett's personal Mount Everest?
UblazRob: I'm sorry
brettclous: i'm just curious right now
UblazRob: Shit
brettclous: loool
UblazRob: That sounded arrogant as all hell
UblazRob: I didn't mean it like htat
brettclous: ahahaha yes
brettclous: yes it did
UblazRob: And, ummm
UblazRob: Twice.
UblazRob: I got my ass kicked 6-1 twice
UblazRob: So, yeah.
UblazRob: I'm definitely beatable.
brettclous: so 2/14 times you've made finals, you've lost. God thats a tempting challenge to make it 3/15
It's actually 2/12. Not gonna lie, Brett's probably carving my name into all of his bullets right now. But it just killed me that the only reason he wants to work with me is to see if he can be the person that finally kicks my ass. So honestly? If you think I'm arrogant, I'm not. This is the kind of thing that people legitimately say to me.
Like... geeze. You know the sad part? You know how many of those wins were actually ON PROBOARDS? One. That's right. One. Japan. I'm one of the most intimidating players that proboards has ever seen because of my whopping one wins.
Other than that, I rekindled an old friendship. Sierra, as you may recall, was the self-destructive and very strange ally of mine that made Japan such a... well... let's just say it wouldn't have been nearly as interesting without her in the game.
So. First off, she forgot who I was.
brettclous: Was just thinking
brettclous: should i be worried? Entire f3 of Japan all in one game?
UblazRob: Oh, geeze, no
UblazRob: Are you kidding me?
UblazRob: Did you notice Bob Dawg screwing my friendship over last season?
brettclous: just asking because one doesnt seem to remember you
brettclous: Eliza
UblazRob: Hahahha
UblazRob: Hahaha
UblazRob: Yeah, she didn't appear to remember me.
UblazRob: I decided that saying "Oh, remember that game I won all of the Immunities in and kicked your ass in the final vote in? Yeah. We were in that."
=-=-=-=-=
Me being me, this was just too good of an opportunity to pass up.
sierrar66: ublazrob
UblazRob: Hahaha
sierrar66: you wanna make a gay alliance?
sierrar66: lol
UblazRob: I'm not gay.
UblazRob: And Sierra + Russell would be a straight alliance. XD sierrar66: fuck i need to learn abt this game
(^Yes. Yes you do.)
sierrar66: i even have the perfect way to win, and the people you gotta "take out" to win
sierrar66: lol
sierrar66: but fuck it
UblazRob: Hahaha
UblazRob: Well, if you got a way to win, go for it
sierrar66: nah
sierrar66: i dont care to try for it
sierrar66: or else i'd be talking to bitches
sierrar66: like gay hays
UblazRob: Hahaha
UblazRob: What you should do, actually
UblazRob: If you want to help
sierrar66: wait who are you?
sierrar66: russell?
UblazRob: I'm hays. And I'm pissed at you for talking shit about me.
UblazRob: GRRRARRRR
sierrar66: ur not hays
UblazRob: I know. I was just pretending
UblazRob: XD
sierrar66: ur russel
sierrar66: right?
UblazRob: Yeah
(^I totally missed my chance. I should have said "No. I'm Sierra.")
sierrar66: just thinking of you cause u still say monica for me
sierrar66: i gotta change that to........
sierrar66: rupert right?
sierrar66: i cant add karma to anyone right now
sierrar66: i will when i can
UblazRob: kk
UblazRob: And, no. I'm Russell.
(But this isn't even the best part. Not only did she forget I was Russell three times in the same conversation, but she then went on to say THIS.)
sierrar66: i am trying to get out tara
sierrar66: and erin
sierrar66: lol
sierrar66: okay
UblazRob: Hahaha
UblazRob: Aren't Tara and Erin the same person?
sierrar66: no
sierrar66: well yeah
sierrar66: i guess
sierrar66: fuckin confusing
sierrar66: is tara playing erinn lobdell?
UblazRob: Yeah
sierrar66: i see
sierrar66: okie then
sierrar66: well i dont care abt her
sierrar66: but the rumour is i want her out
UblazRob: Weird
(^Shits and giggles, right? Just wait.)
sierrar66: anyway
sierrar66: in this AS game
sierrar66: tara is alreasy targetting me apparently
sierrar66: so hopefully ur not voting with her
sierrar66: thing is
sierrar66: i am not even going agiandt her
UblazRob: She hasn't asked me to vote you
sierrar66: against*
sierrar66: goooooooood
sierrar66: well that's what i heard from erin
sierrar66: and i figure, she's her friend
sierrar66: and here i am trying to work with them
sierrar66: are erin and tara not together?
sierrar66: cause i'd like to work with tara
sierrar66: no one would ever see it coming
UblazRob: I dunno. I trust Tara but not Erinn
sierrar66: lol
sierrar66: yeah
(^I probably shouldn't have said that. But just wait.)
sierrar66: there ya go
sierrar66: exactly
sierrar66: can YOU get her that message?
sierrar66: tara?
sierrar66: she came to talk to me once
sierrar66: but i was jsut leaving
sierrar66: it sucked
sierrar66: felt like i was snubbing her
UblazRob: Ew. I will tell her
sierrar66: sorry
sierrar66: but thnx you
(So, kind and generous spirit that I am, I do faithfully go off to tell Tara that Erinn has told Sierra that Tara is targetting her.)
UblazRob: So
UblazRob: Umm
UblazRob: I'm talking to Sierra right now
UblazRob: And she... I'm not even sure what to make of this
ahollywoodslayer: shes mentally ill lol
UblazRob: She's asking me if Tara and Erinn are aligned.
UblazRob: XD
ahollywoodslayer: wat lol
(So I quote the conversation to her)
UblazRob: So, yeah.
UblazRob: Apparently Sierra wants to know if you and yourself are together, because she wants to work with you, but not you.
ahollywoodslayer: thats understandable
(^The best part of this whole thing is that Tara listens to the this whole thing, and then just finishes up with, "That's understandable." Best thing I've seen all day.)
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Post by Sandra Diaz-Twine on Apr 10, 2011 11:49:03 GMT -5
Oh Russ I'm laughing sooo hard right now. XD How would you want to handle/treat that type of personality strategically in-game?
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Post by Russell Hantz on Apr 10, 2011 21:47:01 GMT -5
Oh, man. You can't handle that kind of personality. As someone who actually took Sierra to the final three of a game once upon a time, I will say that there is legitimately nothing you can do to make it any easier on yourself.
Luckily I'm someone she likes, I think, so hopefully she won't be too hardcore againts me, but I did wallop her in the finals, so who knows? She doesn't seem too keen on winning, so hopefully that'll keep her off my back, but you never know how these things are gonna go...
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