Welcome to Hell

[Amanda Kimmel]

This is the Losers' Lodge. This is not a pleasant place... it's bleak. It's boring. There's really only a few things to do here... play billiards, swim in the pool, cook in the kitchen... or talk about what could have been.

Brendan has been placed in the morgue underneath this building. He won't be able to party.


Darrah... Bob Dawg scored 202700 at the Black Knight game. I can't even do that.

Questions for you:

1) You came into this game thinking that you were running shit. Ultimately, everyone really didn't like you. Do you have any theories as to why?

2) As you left, you told Bob Dawg to do you proud. What were you referring to?

3) Is there anyone left in the game that you're rooting for? Who do you want to see win?

4) Who do you want to see crash and burn the most?


Sorry that you're the first person here... :/

[Nat B]

*cough* he is actually in the river

[Amanda Kimmel]

So then... what are these ashes from?

[Nat B]

........fire?

[Darrah 'D' Johnson]

I swim in my pool everyday.. I will never be bored. *Strips and jumps in the pool*

1) You came into this game thinking that you were running shit. Ultimately, everyone really didn't like you. Do you have any theories as to why?

Because I'm dangerous.... DUH.
No probably because I told Klein I would stab him a few months back... Hehe!
Also cause I'm a flirt, I told Rob I cared about him cause I felt bad for him, just like how he told me he cared about me for game purposes... Let's just say I put that stupid bitch in his place.

2) As you left, you told Bob Dawg to do you proud. What were you referring to?

I stopped trying in the game. I made a deal with BobDawg that if he told me his score I would not try to beat him. I wanted him to know that he could trust me because that is more important then any ORG... no offence. I love your games.

3) Is there anyone left in the game that you're rooting for? Who do you want to see win?

Sierra. She's the nicest person in this game. Plain and simple.

4) Who do you want to see crash and burn the most?

Rob, Brett, Erinn, and Kim.

[Darrah 'D' Johnson]

OH YA!

And Colleen, cause her watermelon sized c**t smells even over here.

[Amanda Kimmel]

Welcome to two of our prior winners...


Candice, it REALLY SUCKS to see you here. You were one of my pre-game favorites. I mean, look at this from my pre-game assement:
Candice Cody - She's a total badass. She shows a great deal of prowess at EVERY challenge, and could easily wipe the floor with most of the guys. She's got a great social game to boot, even though she can be a complete bitch if you're not on her side. She's an incredibly ruthless player, and with Redemption Island in the picture, I can only see her doing well. If she's sent packing early, she's pretty much guaranteed to come back via RI. I can see her possibly making the final five, at which point they'll vote her out the moment she doesn't have immunity.

What happened? :/

Anyway, serious questions:

1) Do you think that one, you won, and two, that you had a "challenge whore" reputation played a part in your boot?

2) You have been attacking Rob, Jimmy, and Toddy excessively. What are some things that you'd like to say to each of them, given the former two's obliviousness to your statements?

3) What happened on Redemption? You couldn't channel your insanity, or was it just bad luck with the challenge?

4) Who are you rooting for? Who do you want to see crash and burn the absolute most?




Sierra... you also did not make my expectation for you:

Sierra Reed - She talks a LOT. If you IM her... she'll send you like 8 IMs to your 1. She goes on and on and this, coupled with her having won the series' best season, will probably make someone annoyed enough with her to make her a target. However, she manages to get out of a lot of things, so I have no idea how well she's going to do. If I had to guess, she'd be early jury.

Your questions:

1) For the sake of the record and so everyone else can eventually know, why exactly did you quit?

2) How do you feel that the players would not allow you back in despite your "mistake?"

3) If you had not quit, how long do you think you would have lasted on Verraad as it was? In the instance of a swap given Auha's dwindling numbers?

4) Who are you rooting for? Who do you want to see crash and burn the most?









Oh, and the first two:
Darrah Johnson - I'm going to be honest here. Darrah can be rather difficult to talk to at times. I like her, but she's not exactly the right person you'd want on your side. She's BFFs with Tara/Erinn, though, and those two could be a heck of a team if tribed together. Of course, if she starts losing her sanity again, she'll get targeted, and if she disappears a second time... she'll get targeted. She acts like she runs shit and even says it, and that also means... she'll get targeted. She's learned a lot since Namibia, though, and she'll either get targeted right away or probably make early jury.

It was the former. :/


Brendan Synnott - He's an underdog, as he's no threat to anyone. However... he's also no threat to anyone, and this might get him cut as a weak link. He also has a tendency to self-vote. And that's bad. I don't see him making it far unless he pours everything he has into this game. He can definitely team with Tara. Those two rocked a game, from what I hear. Of course... Tara is known for disposing of men that she has no use for. He might end up being booted. I don't see him making the end again under any means, really.

Tendency to self-vote and not pouring everything he had... and he ended up dead.




I'm going to make it a habit of posting these as people come here.

[theghostofsierra]

Can I answer just the last one for now since I don't have time for them all but I do have time for this?


I'm rooting for Todd and Rob the most right now. And Jimmy. But lets say Todd because I feel like Rob is too huge of a target and Jimmy... well the same, and unfortunately, they just don't seem to win. I've played a game in which the latter portion was played just for Todd to win... though it wasnt the best game ever, I still like him just as much. I'm also rooting for Bob-Dawg but he's on redemption so... that's scary.


Those were pretty obvious picks eh? Well, a lot has happened between myself and Rob lately but I still want him to do good, so that may not be AS obvious but... I came in hoping for him to do good, things happened, blah blah blah, and in the end I'm sticking to my original thought process...

Here's some more obvious picks, for who I want to crash and burn... lex, brett, colleen, rupert, kim, and the rest of the feng-bao tribe too I guess. the first three people I named especially... the latter names, whatever, I don't care

Lex got lucky when I left, and so did Brett in a big way even tough I was never after him in particular... By the way this goes to show once again the only way that Curtis can beat me is if I make it really really easy on him


Bye bye for now

[theghostofsierra]

Oh wait I also kinda would like to see Erinn go far.

Yeah, that's right, I want to see Mike do good. I'd like it... I'm quite disappointed that as soon as I started actually liking him... can I say again?... that now I am here. Oh well. Peace!




Oh and thnx you very much Darrah for the kind words. I appreciate it after our crappy history.

[Candice Cody]

Anyway, serious questions:

1) Do you think that one, you won, and two, that you had a "challenge whore" reputation played a part in your boot?

I think when it boils down to it, that's the core of why I was voted out. People can say it was this and that, but the fact that I'm a former winner and I won the way I did set me up to go home very early in this game.

2) You have been attacking Rob, Jimmy, and Toddy excessively. What are some things that you'd like to say to each of them, given the former two's obliviousness to your statements?

Rob. You lost a good friend
Jimmy. You have a lot of growing up to do
Todd. You think you're good, but when it boils down to it, you're a second rate player.

3) What happened on Redemption? You couldn't channel your insanity, or was it just bad luck with the challenge?

Well, I tried to out think the challenge, but firefox wasn't meant to have 250 tabs open at once. Coupled with impatience, firefox crashing on me, and my heart not being in it, I didn't pull it off.

I'm not a spammer, I can't just sit and spam excessively for the life of me, so I knew that I was finished.

4) Who are you rooting for? Who do you want to see crash and burn the absolute most?

I'm rooting for Colleen, Brett, Lex, Rupert, Erinn, Danielle and Kim. I hope one of those seven can win.

I don't want to see anyone crash and burn, I just want them to get a dose of reality.

[theghostofsierra]

Time for one more answer before I go to work. Sorry to space them out, I wanna be quick as possible with them but my crunch for time is kicking my ass.


1) For the sake of the record and so everyone else can eventually know, why exactly did you quit?


First of all, the reason that led me to feel as though this game wasn't for me, which was what led up to the actual event of me leaving. I came into the game planning on helping Rob get his first win, like Candice. The plan was literally to try and make it the jury with him, go deep enough to make sure he'd be fine on his own, and then have him vote me out, making a big move and putting me in a position where I could better help him get the votes.. I know, I know, it's kinda disappointing and kinda lame when you actually put it to words. Actually very disappointing and lame. But I've won lots, even won in this series, and he's desperate to get his first win. It like eats him up inside, constantly. It's why I couldn't vote him out in Namibia, even though I knew the others were.

Now, he'd always said he could really use this help. He said I was the only one who would ever do something like that for him. Then... I find out that Candice is doing pretty much the same thing (I don't know if they had a specific plan but she was here to help him win, just as I was). Not only that, when I'd asked him about the Lex group, he made no allusion whatsoever to the fact that he was supposed to be with them, and honestly if he had I would have done whatever I could to try and work with them as well. Mind you it wouldn't have ever happened that way because Curtis will not EVER work with me, I would have tried.

But then this whole situation between him and Candice erupted and he went into a complete tail-spin as we all know. So that started to ruin it for me... the entire reason I'd come here had just been shot to shit. I realized the extent of Lex's network, and so did Bryan (and it's my THEORY that that is why he posted that thread in general, NOT to end the drama, not for any emotional reason as has been stated, but simply because he was worried about the fall-out from voting Candice). He began wanting to go back to them, and so I realized my choices were to either abandon the ideals I had entered the game with, turn off my brain and just follow him blindly to my death knowing that it wouldn't even help him anymore as was originally intended, or just leave all together since the whole thing had become a bitter mess and the state of my life right doesn't make a good host for such a mess.

I discarded the latter option, thinking of Amanda. I was going back between trying to get Rob to vote Lex or Rupert and play my own game and just turning off my brain and following Rob.


NOW to the event that actually made me quit. Once everything was more or less settled in my mind and I'd decided for the sake of Amanda, Rob comes to me and says he wants to quit after he makes his post. I tell him to think long and hard about it this time (we all know how often he says this, so I wanted him to think about it some before just randomly saying it). He thought abt it, and said he still wanted to quit. It'd been a long time coming. In round 0 he was going to quit and wanted me to come with him, because of he'd posted something in his confessional and Amanda "got mad and threatened to remove him" or something like that? I don't assume to be correct about this... or anything I've heard, anymore.

Rob told me, before posting that, that Candice had done something really bad to him and the way it was explained to me made it clearly sound like it was a brech of the rules against personal attacks and sharing personal information and stuff. I am not going to say here just what it was but Candice knows and you know, Amanda... And THAT is the thing that did it more than anything else. I was already let down by where the game was heading, but I'd decided to just suck it up and do what needed to be done with or without Bryan, just for Amanda's sake, but what I heard abt Amanda ruined that appreciation and desire to do right by her.

Bryan had also been talking a lot about Candice telling him to kill himself or whatever, that was less of an issue for me because like Amanda, I kinda figured it resulted from him actually threatening to kill himself, because he's done that a lot too. No offense here, I'm not trying to rag on him or something I'm just stating the facts.

Then he posted his thread in general, and Amanda posted her thing after, and Rob said she was siding with Candice so I read it and I saw it that way too but it wouldn't have been a major ting if it weren't for my buying into that "personal information rule breakage" that he was preeching about. Others jumped on the bandwagon abt "Amanda being biased", I got all worked up and decided I would leave with Bryan. If he felt this was all real enough to actually do the unspeakable and abandon the game then it had to have been real, right? He couldn't have just been making it all up this time, right?

I quit, I deleted my account, I waited a little bit, and low and behold Bryan stayed. He started strategizing again, looking through his scream GIF's while saying he was crying and he wanted to die and the game was over for him and blah blah blah.

And here we are now. Once he didn't leave, and it turned out to be the same ploy AS ALWAYS. The same overly-emotional plea for forgiveness (STRATEGIC forgiveness). Once it became clear he still, as always, had no intention of doing anything but freaking out because he felt danger approaching... I began to realyl question my decision to side with him over Amanda. And then Candice told me something about that "personal information rule breakage" that made it clear beyond the shadow of a doubt that she'd done nothing wrong to him whatsoever. Again I won't go into the exact details about that for obvious reasons. And then Amanda even cleared up what she'd said in response to Bryan's drama thread, not that that part really mattered much to me in the first place but I'm just saying...


It's at this point that I knew for sure I'd made a huge mistake and not only entered the game with misguided ideals but I'd also left the game with the same terribly misguided and epically retarded point of view.

I'm here to tell you that I was dead wrong and Amanda did nothing at all to warrant my actions, nor did Candice, and the whole thing was just blown WAY out of proportion. I will regret it forever, and I'll be sorry to you, Amanda, forever, for siding with him and accusing you of being biased and all that shit that I'd said.


It wasn't even ever about me, is the really stupid thing. I feel like I got brainwashed and joined a cult over those couple of weeks or whatever that I was in the game.



And instead of that long winded explanation that I just gave... I probably could have just said "I quit because I'm a moron."

[Amanda Kimmel]

Wow, you really didn't need to write a personal essay about it. Now I feel as if I understand.

But still, you should have tried to see things from my point of view. Bryan was being an idiot, and if he quit, he knows I'd have killed him in a similar way to the treatment you got. And I appreciate the apology!

Still, this has caused me to have to completely re-plan the ENTIRE game. It's a complete mess right now, given the time you quit at :/

Bryan will receive a proper spanking in due time. Although, Candice... you've already done plenty

But yes, I posted what I posted to point something out to Bryan that he wasn't realizing. He was completely oblivious to the fact that Candice was angry at him for LYING to her, not for voting her out. All he needed to do was to say, "Sierra's doing the same thing you are... and I have to vote you out. I think my chances are better with her. Sorry." BAM, friendship preserved, drama averted.

As for me threatening to remove Bryan... I gave him a warning for breaking a law. He did something punishably stupid, and he also was oblivious to that I wasn't going to remove him. I don't remove players. Except for inactive jerks like Brendan. Or twats like Joe from Malaysia that have a completely illogical superiority complex. I take great satisfaction in removing people I hate. Bryan... I don't hate him, but he can be really annoying. Not enough to be removed.

I pride myself on being a fair host, and I take great offense to when people call me "bias." After all... look at what happened to Frosti when he accused me of rigging shit against him because he didn't read the rules. That guy... well, I had to remove him.

Sierra... thank you for taking the time to elaborate, and thank you for the apology.

[Candice Cody]

Apr 27, 2011 12:05:06 GMT -5 Amanda Kimmel said:

But yes, I posted what I posted to point something out to Bryan that he wasn't realizing. He was completely oblivious to the fact that Candice was angry at him for LYING to her, not for voting her out. All he needed to do was to say, "Sierra's doing the same thing you are... and I have to vote you out. I think my chances are better with her. Sorry." BAM, friendship preserved, drama averted.

[theghostofsierra]

First of all, you DEFINATELY don't rig shit. But my experiences with that guy are about the same as yours so I'm not surprised he'd go that far.

Sorry about the headache of screwing up the plans. I'd hoped that since there was that single elimination when there was supposed to be a double my quitting wouldn't be too bad for the schedule but I'm sorry that's not the case. That's one of the bigger reasons I regret what I did. As you know, this game, and this series, though I was I was only in Namibia, was quite a sacred institution to me and, well, I'm not sure I can still say that and sound truthful

Survivor is a learning experience though... After 7 years I'm still learning to see things from others' points of view. That and having patience is probably the two things that playing ORGs has made me realize I need to work on. It's not all bad that comes from these, I guess. As bad as I am now, without that 7 years of playing ORGs, I'd probably a lot worse. I know I used to be a really bad person... and now I'm just kinda bad

You dont need to thank me for apologizing and explaining, that's something I had to do, or I couldn't really say that I've learned anything from my time in this community. And you don't need to explain yourself to me, definately. Of all people... not me. I didn't have the decency to really listen before I flipped out so the fact that you are still willing to explain after that is just... a bonus, I suppose


Ummmm... anyway, I'll try and keep this a bit shorter than my previous post... But there is something I need to say before I answer my last two questions, in light of my previous post and how that sounded towards a certain someone.


I do not hate Rob either. I'm not even mad at him anymore. I'm disappointed. But that's the extent of it. It was as much my mistake for buying into everything so quickly and, as you pointed out, not trying harder to see it from your POV, as it was his fault... Actually, what I did, that's ALL my fault. I can't blame my actions on someone else. I can blame my REACTION on him, but what I do with my emotions... that's all me.

Furthermore, Bryan is NOT a bad person. He's not like a lot of people here, including myself, and he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body from what I can tell. The things that he does wrong in his time here are done out of ignorance. That's a negative word but this isn't a negative statement. When he does something that hurts someone, I can pretty much garantee you it was a mistake and it wasn't his intention. He's too nice. To use a phrase that I don't like... He's got too big of a heart. It's a problem that in my experience I honestly can't say a lot of people in this community have. It causes him to try to be too nice to everyone, and that will always end up backfiring. But hey, in life, there are a lot worse problems than not being comfortable telling someone something they don't want to hear or doing something they don't want you to do.


My point is, he's a good guy. He's a better person than me, as far as niceness and likeability and that kind of stuff goes. I have a problem with being overly emotional, myself, but it doesn't stem from having too much compassion. I wish it did

There has been a lot of negativity toward Bryan in here so far and despite everything that happened between him and I during the last days of my life in the game, before I went any further here I wanted to make sure there was an ample dose of positivity as well. I am still rooting for him, as well as a few others admittedly, and I still like him and I'll still talk to him after the game (and that is a rarity for me, I am a true loner with no bad connotations to the term). I even had him on ignore for a little bit there, and I really bitched him out, but what's done is done and I hope he does well from here on. He doesn't have the advantage of a wealth of experience like some of us do, so I gotta try to go easy on him... (patience).

Before I end this, because this is getting really long, sorry (keep in mind reading it IS optional), I am gonna say one thing I am really impressed with Rob about, something he seems to be good at from the short time I've known him. When I was bitching him out for like an entire day he was sitting there listening, talking back, engaging and communicating as best he could under the pressure of the situation, and he never once put me on ignore or said he was going to, even though at one point I did. He doesn't run from his problems once they reach him... (I was gonna do a bit of a dig here to someone but hey... I'm not). Sure, he makes a lot of mistakes and so a lot of problems DO reach him, but he handles them quite decently. He doesn't just totally lie down and take it or something, that's not what I'm saying, he's just... he's always present to deal with a shit-storm when it starts.

Maybe that's only my personal experience with him though.




Either way, this is done, and I will move on so I don't end up writing a novel.

[theghostofsierra]

All right now that I'm done all that, I'm going to wrap up here, and I promise I'm ACTUALLY going to keep my answers to these last two questions brief. Comparitively.



2) How do you feel that the players would not allow you back in despite your "mistake?"

I don't blame them, and I'm not upset at them for that in the least. Some that voted no did so because they thought it was unfair, as that would never happen in the real game. For many of them that voted no it was a strategic decision. Some of them that voted no even say that they like me... to a certain extent. And I believe them to a certain extent Now, the basis of that strategic decision, for many of them, I am disappointed in. I used to be more like Candice in that I could give a fuck what people think of me but sadly, for whatever reason, that seems to be sorta changing lately. I don't like that but it's a fact. (By the way I wish there was a button you could click to like Candice's personal text cause that's just awesome).

Anyway, there are people in the game who simply don't like me, and never will. That's why I was targetted and my first tribal council. And there are people who like me but never want to work with me, and don't think they ever will be able to work with me, because they can't trust me. And the basis of my being targetted so soon is the same basis for the strategic "no" votes that people had cast when voting to let me back in or not. So I'm disappointed in that, but I'm disappointed because it means I personally am doing something wrong: if people don't like me, and people can't trust me, that's usually not a problem of theirs... it's usually something I am doing. Not always but usually.



3) If you had not quit, how long do you think you would have lasted on Verraad as it was? In the instance of a swap given Auha's dwindling numbers?

Not to sound like a dick or an egotist or anything but I think I would have been okay for awhile on the old Verraad if it'd stayed. I say that because you can't share points, I know because I wanted to do just that. So it would take awhile for all the people that didn't like/trust me to get the idol that would eventually take me out of the game

Or that's how I envisioned it anyway. Woulda been kinda fitting that my last game would end in my finally being idol'd out... Oh well.

With the new Verraad, I have no idea. I'd still have a chance because of Rob and Jimmy being there but we'd be down on reward items and we'd have lost Todd and Alina, I'm not sure how Danielle would work out... I really don't know hays that well considering how much time we spent together in Namibia. It's a game about past bonds, and I can't complain about that the way I generally like to since it IS all stars and that's kinda the point.

But I do historically "manage to get out of a lot of things" so you never know. I really feel like I would've done okay. Not spectacular, but not too bad either. Maybe even like early jury if i had a bit of luck... but then the idol. Lol.







Okay peace thnx for reading all that if you did. And if you did, ur crazy